open post;

[iwasinvisible]

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@ macarthurpark

[iwasinvisible]

[Started here.]

There's au naturel and earthy and then there's rotting carcass in the sun. I guarantee you no one likes the smell of hot roadkill.

[macarthurpark]

[ Counterpoint: a bonafide hottie like Delores seemed to not mind his stench, but Beetlejuice (wisely) decides not to mention her. ]

So what the hell kind of smells do you like? Patchouli?

[iwasinvisible]

[Counterpoint to that counterpoint: she wants to eat his soul. How he smells doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of gaining immortality, y'know.

That's neither here nor there though since Lydia can slap down an easy answer most of the other Lydias might agree with:]

The smell of an old book. Rain maybe? Oh, bonfires and tobacco.

Probably sandalwood too.

[Basically any Lydia would love Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs.]

[macarthurpark]

[ Counterpoint to the counterpoint to his initial counterpoint: doesn't matter, he still had sex. ]

How old of a book are we talkin? I got this one here

[ He sends her a goofy, smiling selfie of himself holding up an ancient, bizarre-looking tome with one hand, and flashing a thumbs-up with the other. ]

Just say my name 3 times, and I'll haul ass over there and let you have a whiff.

[iwasinvisible]

[Why are you all like this. She thought the jokes about orgies were bad enough.

Course all that's gone from her mind when she looks at the selfie and then jerks up into a sitting at attention stare.]

Is that the fucking NECRONOMICON

[Hey she watched movies and read stupid amounts of Lovecraft, okay. Besides that though --]

Yeah no, my Betelgeuse is bad enough. Both of you together with THAT book is the absolute last thing I need in my life.

[Cause surely if she summons one of them she gets both of them. Or a bonus cartoon one.]

[macarthurpark]

[ That should be the plot for the third movie. A crossover called Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice: Crisis of Infinite BJs (pay me, Tim). ]

Clever girl. Too bad you're no fun.

[iwasinvisible]

[This is utter brilliance. We'll work on the first draft of the script immediately.]

I'm loads of fun but I'm not stupid or unfair.

Most of the time.

[She'll admit it, maybe stabbing a man when he's feeling a lot of feelings is sort of unfair and all.]